So if you decided to skip it but don’t want to be completely left ouf of today’s fodder, here’s what you need to know:
1) The Destiny’s Child reunion HAPPENED
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD. Ok, now that that’s out of the way: Michelle and Kelly literally popped up onstage in what looked like the most fun stage contraption EVER. They played a few DC classics, like Independent Women Part 1, before oddly enough backing Beyonce before she gave them the buh-bye (awkwaaaaard). We were reminded of how much we freaking love this group and how getting tickets to their inevitable reunion tour is now a requirement.
2) There Is More Than One Beyonce
The special effects of the halftime show were pretty awesome, too–at one point there were, like, 40 Beyonces onstage. It was NUTS.
3) There Were No Wardrobe Malfunctions
…Though we’re not so sure about the booties-thigh heel sock pairing. Just saying.
4) There Was, However, One Major Technical Malfunction
It turns out that the Super Bowl is about more than just Beyonce; there’s also a game that was played, and about two minutes into the second half the POWER WENT OUT. And it was out for 35 minutes. That is crazy and if ever there were something to make Americans focused on improving our infrastructure, it will probably be this.
5) Joe Flacco Finally Did Something About Those Brows
Above is a before photo of Joe Flacco. Below is an after. We’re pretty sure someone finally made enough money to get some waxing (or, as someone as my Super Bowl party offered, threading). Keep it up, Joe!
6) And Oh Yeah, A Team Won
49ers vs Ravens and in the end good ol’ Baltimore pulled out the win. Now that you know that, back to Beyonce: